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As I’ve indicated in the past, some of my best ideas come to me while looking in a mirror with shaving cream on my face. Often, I’ll take the liberty to jot them down while they’re percolating in my mind. I’ve also been known to jump out of bed with a thought brewing. There are moments when I’m in the shower and an idea is ready to hatch. For that, I’ll trust my memory and continue on with my business. Just goes to show that when a thought gets into an empty head, it has the time of its life. Organizational matters I often wonder what good there is in attending business meetings. Are they really as productive as they appear? Much too often, a lot of the discussion is poppycock and nothing much comes of it. Too many people have different opinions of the same subject and tend to conflict with themselves. The other day, I was reading an obituary in the paper and wondered how such an individual could belong to a dozen or more organizations and not get harried. He had more credits than a motion picture and it puzzled me how he could have enjoyed a family life or any personal time. The man must have spent all his time in Roberts Rules of Order and parliamentary procedure. Or, like others I know, he was more talk than show. I find it more pertinent to join a few organizations and take an active interest than to be a member in name only. I’ve served on committees-of-five where two people do all the work and the other three pat them on the back. What this country needs more than anything is an organization opposed to organizations. Organized chaos When my six grandchildren decide to visit simultaneously, the pandemonium in my home never stops. The kids are 10 and under and rather active if you get the picture. Much as I love them dearly, I’m constantly in hot pursuit reorganizing a trail of scattered toys and books, lost remotes, displaced DVDs, and trails of Cheerios and other condiments that have found the floor. Too bad they don’t make a cereal that saps their energy. That part I can handle with a little restraint. It’s when they want to play basketball, baseball, and volleyball at the same time that I might stumble from exhaustion. You often meet grandparents who bore you about their grandchildren but never quite the reverse. What I like most about it is that you aren’t too busy supporting them to have time to enjoy them. Keeping up with appointments Much of my spare time these days is meeting appointments, whether it’s with my physician, accountant, investment broker (not that I’m affluent), insurance agent, and personal priorities like fitness classes and social get-togethers. One look at my calendar and you might want to retreat. If I don’t mark everything down, I’m apt to miss it. At 71, my memory cannot be trusted. It’s been known to betray me. I carry my notepad around like a priest does his missal. And another thing. I try to be punctual. I’m sometimes annoyed by people who make a habit of being tardy. They set their watches to Armenian time. They believe it’s fashionable to be late. There are times, however, when I’m the first one there, only because I punched a clock. I find that being punctual erases any anxiety I may encounter in the process. That way, I arrive at my destination with peace of mind. The trouble with being punctual is that there’s nobody there to appreciate it. But it gives you all the time to guess when the next person will arrive. Chain letters Guess what! I’ve broken several chains over my life—and I’m still alive. I get these notices the same as you do. Read this memo and pass it on to 10 others otherwise you’ll break the chain and suffer dire consequences. I’m sure you’ve received such ultimatums. I usually pay no heed to such threats. Is my computer going to crash and send a bomb through cyberspace? Some of them are downright ridiculous, too. Did you ever read this ad? “I’ll tell you how I make money; send a dollar.” Incredulous as I am sometimes, off goes my dollar. I hear nothing. Finally, I question the source and he tells me, “Thanks for the dollar. That’s how I make money.” Marriage a card game The basic foundation of marriage is love—and love is the poker game of life. It starts with a pair, she gets a flush, shows diamonds, and it ends up with a full house. If it’s going well, you’ve got a hand that can’t be beat.

Tom Vartabedian

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